• No matter how old they are, you need to tell them of the
divorce in an age-appropriate manner. If one parent is closer
to the child than the other, that parent should be the one
to tell them.
• It’s essential that neither parent try to place the blame
on the other. This can sometimes cause a child to “pick sides”-
which is unhealthy. Kids should never feel like one parent
is good and one is bad.
• Similarly, the kids must be told that the divorce is not
their fault. At first, almost all kids feel some kind of responsibility
for it- this is where the parents need to step in and make
it clear that they are not to blame. If done correctly, they
will not only know that they’re not at fault for the divorce,
they’ll also know that there’s nothing they can do to bring
their parents back together.
• Don’t tell them until both you and your spouse are absolutely
sure that the decision is made. Tell them on a day where you
can spend a lot of time together. When a child finds out that
their parents are divorcing, they’ll feel scared and insecure-
and will need you there to help them cope.
• Give them some idea of what to expect in the future, such
as school and living arrangements. If they know what’s going
to happen, they’re less likely to feel frightened and unsure.
• Be there to answer any questions they may have- even if
it means answering the same ones over and over again.
Telling your children about an upcoming divorce is a hard
thing to do, and each family handles it a little differently.
Hopefully, the tips provided here can make the process a little
easier.
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